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Empty Pride

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There are numerous examples in the Bible about pride and its consequences on the lives of leaders and followers.  And, having worked over the years with hundreds of leaders, and having interviewed over 5,000 of them, I have seen so many leaders like those in the Bible.  I have witnessed their disgrace, as written in Proverbs 11: 2 (ESV); “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble wisdom.”  In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis wrote, “Pride leads to every other vice; it is the complete anti-God state of mind.”  And pride prevents you from serving God.

If you are a leader, and you like the spotlight and think, “I have arrived,” it might just be time to do a self-analysis. Are you feeling entitled to all the trappings of your position?  Have you stopped listening to others?  In Proverbs 13:10 (ESV), it is written, “By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.”  If pride is consuming your life, who do you turn to for counsel and advice?

The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3 (ESV); “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”  Several years ago, I was coaching a young, first-time manager.  I quickly discovered that his perception of his role was that of the leader, who sat on a pedestal and others bowed to him daily.  His team members were coming to me, sharing their frustration with a leader who did not listen, took personal credit for all achievements, and lacked personal accountability.

In our next coaching session, I shared with him what I was hearing from his team members.  He became very defensive, rejected every concern, and took no responsibility for his behavior.  Pride was alive and well in him.  Then I shared servant leadership with him.  I used the inverted pyramid as an example.  I explained how he must step off the pedestal and begin to serve others.  From his nonverbal behavior, it became obvious that I was not close to breaking through his self-pride.

I would like to tell you a success story, but I cannot.  His pride was so strong he was totally blind to reality.  His insolence was causing strife in the organization and destroying the team.  What about you and your pride?

How does pride manifest itself in you?  How do you know pride is taking control of you?  Here are some clues.

  • You are not listening to others.
  • You love the spotlight, a feeling of importance.
  • You have a dysfunctional team.
  • You lack any semblance of personal accountability.
  • You do not do any self-analysis.
  • You have no one to turn to for advice.
  • You are not honoring God and trusting in His power.

What can you do?

Begin with Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV), “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.”  In other words, get advice.  That is what we do in our Convene Forum and Genesis Groups with peer-to-peer coaching.

Secondly, it is time to pray.  Consider praying as written in Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV): “Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.  Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.”  Trust God and pray for Him to keep you humble.

A leader full of self-pride turns people off, destroys the team, and keeps the organization and its people from ever achieving their full potential.  Yes, you and your self-pride have arrived, but look around and survey the destruction, the emptiness.  As C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity, “For Pride is spiritual cancer; it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.”  Empty pride.

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Work • Life • Balance

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What is balance in life?  Sounds like a simple enough question.  However, if you ask ten different people you will get ten different answers.

In Luke 10:38-42 (ESV) is this story about Mary and Martha:

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village.  And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.  But Martha was distracted with much serving.  And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Tell her then to help me.”  But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her.”

Are you most like Martha, or Mary?  Many assume that Mary is the right one and that Martha is the wrong one.  Jesus let Martha know about her busyness, but he did not blame her for being a hard worker and efficient.  Jesus did not want Martha to be “like Mary,” but rather to stop worrying about doing things for him rather than experiencing the intimacy of being with him.  Do you have a Martha spirit or a Mary spirit?

Are you that hard-charging leader who is totally consumed by the business, always working in it and not on it, afflicted with the need to always over-achieve and reach the mountain top regardless of the cost?  Or are you a leader who is clear about priorities, and as it is written in Romans 12:2 (ESV); “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  That is what Jesus meant when he spoke to Martha.

Want a role model for work-life-balance?  Look to Jesus.  He is the perfect example of effectively balancing both halves of life.  How about focusing your thoughts on honoring Jesus with your life and work?  How about not seeking your own personal wants and desires?  As Paul wrote to the Philippians in Chapter 2:3-4 (ESV):  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “The best work is done by the happy, joyful workman.  And so it is with Christ.  He does not save souls as of necessity, as though He would rather do something else if He might, but His very heart is in it, He rejoices to do it, and therefore He does it thoroughly and He communicates His joy to us in the doing of it.”

Our lives consist of many parts; faith, family, friends, job/career, our health and well-being, personal development and our finances, to name a few.  The balancing act is knowing your core values and priorities and recognizing when some areas need more attention from you than do the others.  Talk with and listen to God, seeking his path for you. Our Convene Forum and Genesis Groups provide a place for members to openly share their feelings and concerns and each receives honest and direct feedback in a caring environment, as written in Scripture; Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another.  (Colossians 3:16 ESV)

I believe that a balanced life is one in which you use your talents and gifts to glorify God; you focus on learning and growing in the Spirit; you intentionally give back through His church; you practice sound stewardship with your time and resources; and you know your core values and priorities and use them with discernment.  And remember this:  Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. (Colossians 3:23 ESV)

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Lonely at the Top

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            A common saying in the business world is: “it is lonely at the top.”   Stop and think about it.  Who helps you see the blind spots?  Who gives you honest feedback?  Who is willing to disagree with you?  Who will ask you the right questions to help you process a decision or a problem?  I have been where you are.  I know how lonely it can be.

            It is difficult to place a monetary value on having someone you can turn to who will help you eliminate that empty feeling of loneliness.  Maybe you have an assistant who you trust and share some information with at times.  However, can you be totally open with this person about your innermost thoughts?  Can you share your deepest worries and concerns about the business with them?  Most likely, not.

            An article in the Harvard Business Review reported that 50% of CEO’s reported feeling lonely at work.  And, about 60% believed the feeling of being alone hindered their performance.  For first-time CEO’s the numbers in both areas were 70%.  Being at the top can easily result in being isolated and becoming out of touch with the business.  If you are isolated, how do you really lead, motivate, develop people, innovate, evaluate and assess needs for individuals and the business, and manage productivity and profitability?  Let me answer for you.  You don’t.

            If you feel lonely, and even isolated, it can lead to poor decision-making, inept problem-solving, frustration, dysfunctional teams and team members, not to mention the internal stress that builds and builds and eventually causes negative behavior, or even major health issues.  Why?  As the CEO, President, or Business Owner, you receive less feedback and information, and the information is filtered.  Jack and Suzy Welch wrote this in an article in their Business Week column: “There’s something about being a boss that incontrovertibly lends itself to isolation.  It’s as if every natural force is working to protect you from reality.  Good news travels up fast, but bad news festers in the trenches where those who possess it hope they can make it go away before anyone notices.”

            Do loneliness and isolation have to be an inevitable part of your leadership?  No.  There are things you can do to reduce the risk of isolation. 

            First, how about your walk with the Lord?  Who in the Body of Christ do you turn to on a regular basis, one who encourages you to love and trust God more?  It is written in Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV): “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”  Sounds simple enough.  Your relationship with the Lord makes all the difference.

            For several years I served as the CEO/Superintendent of public school districts.  I was dealing with the public, elected officials, union members, thousands of employees, thousands of young lives and their parents, special interest groups, court decisions and legal issues, and all the politics that went with it.  Believe me, in that scenario you can feel very lonely and isolated.  Here is what I did to reduce loneliness and isolation and I offer these ideas for your consideration.

 

  • Developing and building my relationship with Jesus, putting
    my trust in Him by being in prayer and the Word.
  • Every day I was out in the organization and the community,
    speaking with people, asking lots of questions and getting to know as
    many as I possibly could on a one-to-one basis.
  • I set and was clear with everyone about my boundaries
    and expectations, as well as my values.
  • I made it a priority to get people involved in processes;
    decision-making, problem-solving, communication, and training.  I
    made sure we put decision-making at the knowledge base.
  • I worked closely with my direct reports, setting clear
    and achievable goals, conducting regular and consistent performance
    reviews, and developing a mentoring relationship, using Jesus as a
    personal role model.
  • I made it a priority to meet with every department
    once a month in order to listen to them and their concerns, as well
    as to share information with them.  I learned so much!

 

            In his book, Understanding People, Dr. Larry Crabb wrote on page 117; “Jesus offers us deep, thorough, lasting satisfaction that affirms our identity and at the same time frees us from self-centeredness.”  And, let me add, by building relationships as shown by Jesus, so goes your loneliness and isolation!             

 

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Building the Right Team

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Assume that you are building a house.  First, you would have the plans for the building to study and prepare for construction.  You would then implement the plan and begin building the house, taking care to follow the plan and do each task systematically and in order.  Sometimes you will deviate from the plan do to new information and then prepare a change order modifying the plan.  You take care to make sure the plumbing and electrical are all in place before you hang the drywall.  You have to have all the right parts in the right places in order to have the right house.

It is not any different in building the right team!

It is written in Luke 6:48 (ESV), “he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.”  Upon what foundation are you building your team?

To begin, have you recruited, selected, hired and nurtured the right people, those who are a fit and match for your goals?  If not, it is going to be very difficult to build the right team.  If you have the right people, then involve them in writing the plan, mission, vision and purpose.  Together, identify and agree to your core values.  Once this is done, you have a firm foundation.

In building a house, you have carpenters, plumbers, electricians, and drywall installers to name a few.  Each has a skill and knows how to use it for the benefit of all.  The same is true for your team.  Identify the skills of each person and set clear roles, expectations and goals for each one, while making clear that all individual goals are consistent with the goals of the team.

In building a house, the project manager will establish the communication plan, the decision-making process, meeting frequency, conflict resolution procedures and clear standards of performance.  The same is true for you in building the right team. 

The right team is very much like an accomplished symphony orchestra.  Everyone knows their part and keeps time with the conductor.  At times one instrument is dominant and at other times another instrument is dominant.  So it is with your team.  Let the music play!

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Some Basic Hiring Concepts

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Mis-hires are expensive – the general rule is a mis-hire will impact the budget at a rate three times the annual salary of the mis-hire.  In other words, a $50,000 a year employee would cost the budget $150,000.

Desperation hiring is a guaranteed 100% chance of having a mis-hire.  A word to the wise, “hire slow and fire fast” and totally reject desperation hiring. 

Hiring must be a planned process.  You must have a system and the system must be part of your company policy with specific consequences for those who fail to follow the policy.

Having clear, specific and agreed to Core Values is critical to success in hiring the right people; those who are a fit and match with your culture.

Finding candidates requires first of all a clear company culture, a positive reputation in the community, networking, specific job postings and input from current employees.

Training managers how to interview is not optional.  The training must include not only interview techniques, but how to prepare effective questions.

Involving the stakeholders in developing position specifications as well as in actual job interviews with the top candidates will have a definite positive impact and reduce the number of mis-hires.

A hire does not end when the new employee reports to work – it is absolutely mandatory that you have an effective and comprehensive on-boarding program.  A key component of an on-boarding program is the one-to-one between the new hire and the supervisor.

Weekly one-to-one meetings between the new hire and the supervisor are mandatory.  These meetings range from 30 minutes to one hour and always have an agenda.

Five Keys To Hiring Success

(1)         Top to Bottom to Top Buy-In. 

(2)        Initial interview training and on-going interview skill development.

(3)         Select a Champion.

(4)        No One Can Opt Out.

(5)         Select and Use the Right Tools

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The Ideal Leader

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Having interviewed more than 5,000 leaders over the past 30 years, and intensely studied the attitudes, characteristics, traits and values of highly effective leaders, I have discovered that they have:

(1)  A clear sense of purpose – meaning a well thought out personal mission statement and a clear and focused personal vision, which is openly shared with others.

(2)  Personal core values – well thought out and in writing and displayed for self and others to see.  Makes decisions, solves problems, builds and maintains relationships, coaches team members – all governed by the core values.

(3)  A sense of and support of accountability for self and others.  Takes ownership for all personal actions and holds other accountable for their actions.  Understands and supports the value of performance evaluations.

(4)  Servant Leadership.  A leader who understands that the development of the team members is priority one.  Is a coach, and at times a mentor, depending upon the needs of the team member. Values team work and actively supports and works toward building and maintaining a high performing team.

(5)  Exceptional communication skills.  A leader who is articulate, well spoken, excellent writer, and an active listener who knows and uses active listening techniques while totally focusing on the needs of the speaker.

(6)  Clear objectivity.  A leader who is objective, weighs all the information/options, seeks input and involvement of others, possesses an anticipatory set and is an adult logical thinker.  Calm and patient in demeanor, but having a proper sense of urgency.

(7)  The Ability to execute.  A leader who is strategic in thinking and planning who understands that planning without action is an exercise in futility.  Organized in thought and action, with a strong focus on step by step positive progress.

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Hiring Right Is Not Easy!

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Since 1992 I have been speaking and presenting seminars about my five step hiring process, the Choosing Winners™ System.  I have discovered that far too many managers have no concept of how to select the right people.

Managers make hiring a whole lot more difficult than it is in reality.  Part of this is due to a lack of specific training.  However, the single greatest problem is the refusal of managers to devote the time and effort necessary to improve their hiring success.  They are all looking for the magic potion, the single test that will tell them who to hire.  Guess what?  That single test is a myth.

I developed my ideas about hiring while working as a school principal and superintendent.  The single most positive influence on me was Ken Cardinal.  Ken developed numerous structured interviews and I learned how to interview from him.

Ken always spoke about hiring as a discovery process.  I found that with a discovery process mind-set I was able to focus on the interviewee’s responses and learn more about them.  In discovery you want to learn all you can about a person before you make the job offer.  Unfortunately, most managers do not do this and after the person begins working it is “oh, no, why did I ever hire them?”

Hiring right is all about discipline.  For years now managers have not been disciplined in their hiring of new employees.  I really do not care which system is used in hiring new employees for a company.  All I know is that you will be far more successful with a system, a process that everyone in the company supports and follows without exception.  (Including the President!)  My Choosing Winners™ System provides a framework, a process that requires discipline on the part of the manager.  I never present my system as the answer, but rather as a model from which a company can plan and then implement a process.

When you hire the wrong person, the cost to your company is at least three times the mis-hire’s annual compensation not to mention the negative impact on the team.  And remember, as it is written in the Book of Proverbs, 26:10, “Like an archer who wounds at random, is he who hires a fool or any passer-by.”

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A Cup of Coffee Please

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While on a business trip, I had some down time so I stopped for a cup of coffee. As I entered the shop, I was greeted by one of the shop’s associates. “Welcome to our shop,” she said with a great big smile, “and how are you doing today?”

 “I’m doing great,” I replied, “and you sure seem to be happy today,” as I ordered my cup of coffee with no room for cream. Turning to fill my coffee cup she glanced back at me and said, “I’m happy every day!” Smiling back to her, I said, “You must really like this job.” She smiled and said, “I love this job.”

Always looking for an opportunity to interview, I asked her, “ so, why do you love this job?” Setting my cup of coffee on the counter, she said, “the pay and benefits are good and as a single mother of three that is really important to me. But it’s more than that.”

The smile on her face turned into a very serious and thoughtful expression. I said to her, “tell me more.” Without any hesitation she responded, “This company gave me my dignity.” Allowing for some thoughtful silence, I said, “your dignity?”

Tears welled up in her eyes. “I told you I was a single mother with three kids. I don’t know for sure who fathered any of them. I was a prostitute. This company came to the safe house and offered several of us girls a chance. I was the only one that took it. Now I am being a real mom and supporting my girls.”

With tears in my own eyes, I said to her, “You obviously feel good about yourself and your girls.” That big, winning smile returned to her face as she wiped away the tears. “I really do and guess what I did last week?” Not willing to risk a guess, I replied, “I have no idea. Tell me what you did.” Almost dancing with joy behind the counter, she said in a strong, proud voice, “I got my GED!” My tears came back and before I could say a word, she said with unrestrained joy, “And guess what tonight is?” Being completed overwhelmed by the joy I was blessed to share, all I said was, “Tonight?”

 “My first class at the junior college!”

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 This is a true story. There are so many lessons to be learned here so I encourage the reader to sit back and think about it for a few minutes. I did not get back to the location for several years and when I did, she was not there any longer. One associate did remember her and said she had gotten her Associate’s Degree, but she did not know what happened after that.